英语写作修改:Long-distance Relationship - 恋人两地分居

原文:

There is an old saying Distance breeds beauty. Some people apply this quote as the distance relationship. However, this only refers that personal space is important and indispensable within a relationship. Living apart for a long time, as far as I am concerned, will eventually jeopardize your relationship with your partner.

修改:

There is an old saying, "Distance lends enchantment to the view." Some people apply this idea to the discussion of long-distance relationships, but this is misusing the quote, which merely suggests that personal space in relationships is important and indispensable. Long-distance relationship is quite something else. In my view, lovers living apart from each other for extended periods of time will eventually jeopardize their relationship.

说明:

Distance breeds beauty – 没见过这个说法,大概是中文“距离产生美”的回译。相近的英语原文有“Distance lends enchantment to the view” – “距离让观感更美好”。As far as I am concerned – 这个更多的指利益的牵涉,如果说个人观点,in my view,as I see it,等等。

原文:

Firstly, in my opinion, love is about sharing. Long-distance relationship makes two people who in love live in a different life. And gradually, the partners will lose their common topics in life, which does great damage to the relationship.

修改:

First, love is about sharing, but a long-distance relationship makes it impossible for two partners to share their lives on a daily basis. The lack of common interests and common topics for conversation will do great damage to their relationship.

说明:

可以说First, Secondly, Thirdly,没有必要用Firstly。文章就是讲个人观点,没必要重复说in my opinion等等。And gradually – 通常句子开头不用and,but。

原文:

Secondly, geographically, distance is a huge problem. It is unpractical for one to give an instant care to his or her partner when he or she is in long distance relationship. Especially when you are ill, lack of company makes you feel even worse.

修改:

Secondly, geographical distance makes it difficult for partners to care for each other. Falling ill is bad enough, but falling ill with no company is much worse.

说明:

Secondly,geographically,两字结尾相同,读起来难听。

原文:

And in the last, emotionally, long-distance relationship is a big challenge to each other’s belief. In other words, both two people in a relationship have to be confident enough about the future.

修改:

Finally, trust is a major issue. For a long-distance relationship to survive, the two persons involved must maintain confidence in each other and in the future of their relationship, but this is often hard to accomplish.

说明:

句首、段首不用and。谈的就是感情问题,没必要再说emotionally。Belief是相信某种观念,不同于信任,trust。Both two people,不通,both persons,both of them。

原文:

In a word, love is like a joint venture company. Only if two members are working for the same target, there comes a happy ending.

修改:

In short, relationship is like a joint venture. Unless two partners involved in a long-distance relationship are willing to work for a common goal, they will not have a happy ending.

说明:

If only的意思是“除非”,unless;避免与only if的混肴。Venture,company, 重复。而且讨论恋爱,拿公司作比喻,俗,不搭。Venture有冒险的意思,中。

 (原文作者:未详;修改评论:DJXUE.COM)