英语写作修改：Women in Modern Society - 现代社会中的妇女
Women are playing an increasingly important part in society today. The tittle when women were only confined to the kitchen and looked after their children at home is gone. Instead, they have gone out their homes and taken up many jobs such as drivers, doctors, scientists and even top managers which used to be dominated by men. Now we can say for sure what men can do is equally done by women.
Women are playing an increasingly important part in society today. Gone is the time when women were confined to their homes, cooking and looking after their children. They have now gone out of the homes and started working as drivers, doctors, scientists, and even top executives, the kind of work that were traditionally reserved for men. Now we can say for sure that what men can do women can do equally well.
The time when … is gone， Gone is the time when … - 倒装，让主语和动词在一起。Instead无意义。Confined的就是限制，不需要only。Confined to homes, 使cooking和looking after kids成为并列的活动。Drivers, doctors, etc, 是人，不是jobs。
With the changes in their social role, women's position in some families has been improved as well. Today, husbands and wives are equal in their families. They share the housework, make family decisions and make joint efforts to deal with family problems. In other words,they share both sorrows and happiness together.
As their social role changes, women’s position in family has also improved. Today, many husbands and wives are equal partners. They share housework, make family decisions together, and join forces to deal with family problems. They share both happiness and sorrows in their life.
Position has been improved，被动，Position has improved。Make decisions together。Make joint efforts，修改句式以避免重复使用make。In other words无特别意义，赘语。
In spite of these, the liberation of women has not been completely realized. In some areas women are still second-class citizens. That husbands are sitting in the armchairs with cigarettes in their hands waiting to be served by their wives is still a common scene. Besides women usually can't enjoy equal pay even if they do the same jobs as men do. All these are unfair. So it is still a long way to go for women to fight for their complete liberation.
In spite of all these, women have not been fully liberated. They remain second-class citizens in some areas. Husband sitting in the armchair, with a cigarette in his hand, waiting to be served by his wife - this is still a common scene. Besides, in many cases women don’t get equal pay even though they do the same work as men. All these are unfair. Women still have a long way to go before they achieve complete liberation.
Besides后面逗号。Even if，有先后将来的意思 – even if we had left earlier, we would not have been able to catch our flight，即使我们早点儿出发了，我们也不可能赶上我们的那趟航班（事实上没有赶上航班）。Even though，即便已经那样了，事实上发生了，还是不行 – they’re paid less even though they do the same work.