英语写作修改:The Harm Caused by Misleading Information - 错误信息的危害

原文:

It is true that the internet has brought us great convenience and efficiency, however, as the data grows at an exponential rate, the severity of misleading information arises.

修改:

The internet has brought us great convenience and efficiency. However, as data grows at an exponential rate, misleading information poses a severe threat.

说明:

It is true – 多余。注意however的用法。Severity是指问题或威胁的程度,而不是问题或威胁本身。

原文:

Deceptive news or tips travel fast online, and worse still, they may shadow our routine life or even hinder the progress of our society. Lack of enough consideration, we are easily misled by false information which always appears in bulk on the webpage. Some will alter their plans to deal with the so-called disaster but only affect their normal life; a few may even go further to violate social security and economic trend.

修改:

False news or tips travel fast online. They may cast shadow on our daily life and even hinder the progress of society. If we do not scrutinize the information that reaches us, we may be misled by what appears on the internet in great volume. Some people may alter their plans to deal with falsely broadcast disasters, only to find out that they have interrupted their life for nothing. Some people, led by false information, may even violate public order and destabilize economy.

说明:

Deceptive意为欺骗性的,但有些信息只是错误信息。Worse still在这里不合适,前面又没讲什么危害可以比较。Lack of enough consideration,杜撰的。Affect, interrupt。Social security通常指社会保障而不是社会安全。

原文:

Moreover, if the misleading news isn’t corrected soon, there may be a trust crisis between individuals and the government. For example, the nuclear leakage in Japan in 2011 has caused great panic in Eastern China, where thousands of people went out to rob salt after the rumor that salt can prevent radiation, and ended in a turbulence in the domestic market.

修改:

Moreover, if misleading news isn’t corrected quickly, it may make people distrust the government. For example, the nuclear leakage in Japan in 2011 caused great panic in East China.  Thousands of people scrambled to buy up salt because they had heard the rumor that salt can prevent radiation. This led to a disturbance in the local market.

说明:

文中说到民众与政府间的不信任,但随后举出的例子与此无关。Rob salt不妥。

原文:

To prevent misleading information spreading, government should set up laws to regulate online news while individuals need to judge independently. Only when they work in hand will the harm of false information be diminished to the end.

修改:

To prevent misleading information from spreading, government should set up laws to regulate online news while individuals should exercise good judgement. Only when citizens and government work hand in hand will the threat of false information be eliminated.

说明:

To prevent something from happening。Exercise good judgment。Diminished to the end, eliminated or reduced to minimum.

总评:原文整体来说写得不错,意思,句法,词汇。