英语写作修改:On Civil Rights - 论民权

评论:

题目不对。文中讨论的是政治权力的分配,civil rights现在通常指民权。

原文:

Civil rights were beginning from the magna carter in 1215, signed by king john. this document let many lower class and middle class people, especially lower class, have some same rights as the nobles.

修改:

Civil Rights started with the Magna Carter in 1215, which was signed by King John of England. This document recognized certain rights of English nobles, which the king was expected to respect.

说明:

《大宪章》不关老百姓的事,是国王与贵族打架,贵族赢得了一些权利。

原文:

There were many kings trying to get absolute power back, like king james i, king charles i, king charles ii, and king james ii. but, england after the glorious revolution, the place of the civil rights never change again, and now the country like canada and us were one of the country that follow the civil rights. so, if king john didn't sign the magna carter, then we won't have today's history.

修改:

In the centuries that followed, many kings tried to re-claim absolute royal power, among whom were James I, Charles I, Charles II, and King James II. However, none of them succeeded in their attempts, and, after the Glorious Revolution of 1688, civil rights were firmly established, the benefits of which countries such as Canada enjoy today. Had King John not signed Magna Carter, history would have been different.

说明:

Like, such as, 后者更正式。England after the glorious revolution, the place of the civil rights never change again - After the Glorious Revolution, civil rights were firmly established in England (这个不符合历史事实)。So if king john didn't sign the magna carter ... - 假设已经发生的事情没有发生,用had not, would have been。

总评:英语不好,历史也不搞清楚,文章题目起得比天大,精神可嘉。

(原文作者:不详;修改评论:大家学 DJXUE.COM)