英语写作修改:机器人的使用 - The Use of Robots

作文题目:机器人

Directions:For this part, you are allowed 30 minutes to write a short essay on the use of robots. Try to imagine what will happen when more and more robots take the place of human beings in industry as well as people's daily lives. You are requried to write at least 150 words but no more than 200 words.

原文:

It is held by some people that knowledge is power,especially scientific and technological knowledge。 Science and technology are the motive power of the social development, which constitute a primary productive force。 The use of robots is the produce of development of science and technology。

修改:

Many people hold that knowledge is power, especially scientific and technological knowledge. Science and technology constitute a primary productive force, which drives social development. Scientific and technological progress has led to the use of robots in our life.

说明:

使用西文标点符号。“It is held by some people”,被动,改为 “Many people hold that”。“are the motive power of social development”,简化,“drive the social development”。“The use of robots is the produce of development of scientific and technology”,不通。Produce, product。

原文:

People’s views on the use of robots vary from person to person。 Some hold that human life cannot continue without the use of robots。 For many years, human society has developed with the use of science and technology。 So the life with the use of robots we are living now is more efficient than that of our fore fathers。 They go on to point out that the use of robots has brought about many changes in people‘s life。 For example,through the use of robots can improve the work efficiency and avoid dangerous events happening in our life in that we can require robots to do some works with danger instead of human beings。

修改:

People differ in their views on the use of robots. Some believe that human life cannot continue without robots. For centuries now human society has developed with scientific research and technological applications, and the use of robots is just another stage in this process. With robots, our life becomes more efficient than that of forefathers. These people go on to point that robots have already brought about many changes. For example, the use of robots improved productivity. Human beings can also avoid some dangerous work by having robots do some of these jobs for us.

说明:

“People”与“from person to person”重复,改句式。“hold”前面用过了,改用“believe”。“For many years” -> “For many centuries now”。“use of robots”重复出现多次,改。“through the use of robots can improve”,不通,而且前面说是example,所以应视为已发生,过去式。“require robots to do some works”,make them, have them do some work for us; works -> jobs.

原文:

Science and technology of robots are the crystallization of human wisdom。 It brought a glorious past to humanity, also will bring bright future to mankind。

修改:

Robotics is the crystallization of human intelligence. It continues a glorious scientific and technological tradition and has the potential to create a bright future for the mankind.

说明:

“Science and technology of robots” -> robotics. “Wisdom”与“intelligence”两回事。 “brought a glorious past to humanity”,不通,改。“will bring bright future”,太乐观了。

总评:

内容单薄。题目要求想象使用机器人之后的情形,文中就这点只讲了一两句。提到人们在机器人问题上有不同观点,但未指出有何不同。内容差评。

翻译:

很多人相信知识就是力量,尤其是科技知识。科学和技术是主要生产力,推动社会的发展。科技进步已使得机器人的使用成为可能。

人们在机器人使用方面有不同见解。一些人觉得,没有机器人,人类生活不能持续。过去许多世纪里,人类社会的发展依赖于科技的应用,而机器人的使用只是这一过程的又一阶段。有了机器人,我们的生活可以变得更加高效。这些人进一步指出,机器人已经为我们的生活带来了许多变化。比如,机器人的使用提高了生产率。我们也可以避免一些危险的工作,让机器人为我们处理这些事情。

机器人科技是人类智力的精华。它是光辉的人类科技传统的继续,有可能帮助人类创造一个明媚的将来。

(原文作者:不详;修改评论:大家学 DJXUE.COM)